St. John the Evangelist - Ancient Faith, Modern Relevance

There are many jokes about the differences between men and women. Men are said to be from Mars and women from Venus, for example. There's a joke regarding the 3 rules of understanding women: rule 1 is that you'll never understand women; rule 3 refers the reader to rule 1. And the list goes on.

But what if the differences are intentional, rather than design flaws? What if - as computer geeks put it - the differences are features and not bugs? What if, for example, the differences are complementary? What if the goal of relationships between males and females is not equivalency, but inter-relatedness and support? What if the relative appearance of strengths and weaknesses is really performing a reciprocal and mutually helpful role?

In an article I ran across in the "New Scientist" magazine "Speaking Across The Gender Gap",1 Dr. Deborah Tannan, professor of linguistics at Georgetown University, speaks of the difference between "report-talk" and "rapport-talk".

"… She suggests that talk between men and women ought to be studied as a form of cross-cultural communication. There is as much chance of men and women understanding each other automatically as there was of the Victorian British understanding the 'darkest tribes of Africa' … She was seeing differences in … children that mirrored the classic differences between the way that men and women speak, differences that women frequently complain about. 'I understand the female style instinctively but I couldn't say as a scientist that one way was better than another.'"

Isn't this the idea behind Genesis 2.18 and following? Man needs a helper that corresponds to his needs - "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." In Scripture, the man is called to be the prophetic voice in the family, the spiritual leader, and the protector and provider for them. However, the need for a helper clearly demonstrates his inherent inability to perform these functions alone. And the women, as one who cooperates and enables the man to function in these roles, is likewise unable to perform these functions alone.

This isn't separate but equal, nor is it united and indistinguishable. It's differently united and equally interdependent. What's fascinating is that a self-professed feminist - through her research into communication between the sexes - is discovering that the natural world clearly demonstrates these very truths!

As the Scriptures clearly imply, the sum of the parts in a marriage really IS less than the value and strength of the whole. 1 + 1 = 1 and then some! And doesn't this same principle apply in the church?

1. 1. See some of here articles, including the one cited here at http://www.mightystudents.com/catalog/?tag=Deborah%20Tannen